Graduation

This is where "real" life begins. I am done with school (for now) and need to figure out what to do with my life. Last week I attended my graduation and in two weeks I won't have a job. I'm scared. But, life is all about growth and how can I grow unless I am forced outside my comfort zone and made to do something new and difficult?

Before I talk too much about my fears for the future, I should relate what has happened in the past week. Last Monday through Wednesday I focused on finals (ok, maybe I really didn't focus much on finals on Monday, but I promise I did on Tuesday and Wednesday!). I had only two finals- one was super easy for my music appreciation class. I studied for about 40 minutes Tuesday morning and then went to the testing center to take it. My other final was considerably harder and was scheduled for 2:30 on Wednesday. I studied from the moment I woke up on Wednesday (around 8:00) right up until I had to go take the final. I was a little late getting to my final (mainly because I was selling some textbooks back) and it started pouring rain as I started walking from the parking lot to the building where I was to take my final. I was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts because I didn't think it would rain, so I was late and drenched and ended up having to take the final on the floor of the classroom since all the seats were taken. I was so wet I was dripping water onto my blue book and I had to take my glasses off because they were filled with water spots and I couldn't see my final. I had to write four essays, and I feel I did pretty well. My mind went blank for a minute on the last essay, but I recovered pretty well as I started writing it and things started coming to my mind. I hope I did well on that final, I should find out this week.

After that final, I went and picked up my cap and gown and then waited for my mom and grandparents to get into town that night. When my mom got into town she called me and I went over so that we could spend some time together. We watched American Idol and prepared for the graduation the next day. The next day I got a haircut from my mom in the morning and then headed to the commencement with Kevin. Now, before I get into how the commencement went, I want to admit that I was really nervous about graduation. I knew it would be crowded and crazy, and I didn't know much about how things were going to happen beforehand, which added to my nerves. But, I was happy that things ended up working out really well and my nerves were mostly unnecessary.

At the commencement we all lined up in different lines according to the college we belong to, which unfortunately meant that Kevin was in a line at the complete opposite side of the parking lot from me. So, I was very much alone and didn't really know anyone around me in my line. But, it didn't end up mattering all that much. We all walked to the Marriot Center and took our seats and I was amazed with the huge number of graduates and family there was in the Marriot Center- in fact I thought they were going to run out of room for the graduates in the Marriot Center. The ceremony itself was really awesome, and as I walked out of the Marriot Center, I saw my mom and grandparents and their excitement, and it was really a cool feeling to finally start realizing how big a step this was.

Outside of the Marriot Center I quickly spotted Kevin and his girlfriend Amy and we waited for our families. It was nice to hug my family members and receive their congratulations. I'm truly grateful to my family for coming, especially my grandparents, they had to travel quite far and my grandma wasn't feeling well, but they said they wouldn't miss it for anything. After they left and after witnessing Kevin ringing the victory bell (I made sure he rang it once for me too) I rode home with Kevin and got ready then went to my mom's hotel to spend time with my grandparents and mom watching Survivor. It was nice to spend time with part of my family.

The next day were the convocations, which I was even more nervous for because I had to actually walk up to the dean and receive my (fake) diploma. I got to the Marriot Center an hour before and had some difficulty finding the line I belonged in. But, it worked out fine, and I sat in my seat and began what was an almost two hour wait for my name to be read and for me to walk. When I did walk, I heard my sister and grandma scream for me (even though the dean said not to before they handed out diplomas). It was nice to know how much my family supported me. For convocations my sisters and dad were there and after several minutes of confusion, we met up after convocations and hugged and took many pictures. It was really cool, and I felt a little overwhelmed. After that, we met up with Kevin and all had a celebration dinner at Rodizio Grill. The food was awesome and my family and my grandparents gave me cards and very generous gifts, and I can not express how grateful I am for them and for all their support of me throughout my college experience and my whole life. I most definitely could not have done it without them, and I hope they know home much I love and appreciate them. After dinner, we went to Kevin's house for cake and ice cream and it was a lot of fun for all of us.

Saturday morning was a bit crazy because I had to move out and clean my apartment by 10:00AM. It ended up not being too bad, and afterwards I immediately drove to my family's hotel and we proceeded to spend some quality time together for the rest of the day. The day was balanced between fun, lighthearted conversation and serious advice and discussion of my future. I was grateful for my parents words of advice, even if it did make me a little more nervous than I was before about my future. On Sunday, we had a final breakfast together, and then I said goodbye to my family. It was sad because I'm not sure the next time I'll see them. After they left I had a long Sunday by myself in a hotel room since I couldn't move in to my new apartment until Monday morning. It was a day spent reflecting about my past, thinking about my future, and just relaxing after what was a pretty nervewracking week for me.

So, there you have it- my crazy week of finals and graduation. It is weird for me to think that I'm done here at BYU. It may not even be true because I'm seriously considering returning here for graduate school. So, I'm very uncertain about my future at this point, and really all I know is that I must find a job as soon as possible, and that I'll be spending the spring/summer figuring out plans for my future. But, I need to not get discouraged- this is the time for me to truly shine and to make something of myself. I have grown comfortable in my routine of school and work at Independent Study, but I was ready for a change, and I welcome it now. Life is something to be cherished, not dreaded. I hope that I can prove myself in the next few months, and for the rest of my life. It is about time.